From the title you probably are thinking this post is going to include a tale of lies or confusion, or some such life lesson, but its not. The title refers to a very literal web...and a very real spider.
You should know that Eugene has serious arachnophobia. I mean his fear of spiders is very real. They terrify him. Me on the other hand, not so much. They don't really bother me. I don't love them, but I have no qualms with getting near enough to kill one.
A little over a week ago, a very large spider set up resident in the entrance posts to our front porch
If you look really hard at the the above picture, you can see the web.
(I need to work on my photography skills. My husband got me an AWESOME Cannon for my birthday last year and I have yet to discover all it's secrets.)
Jump ahead a week or so, from the building of this web, and Eugene is leaving to go pick up some dinner. He walks out on the porch and I'm standing in the doorway.
As he steps out on the porch he comes to the horrific realization that the spider is moving.
Eugene has this "pose" he goes into whenever there is a spider spotting. Its sort of like the fetal position, while standing. His fingers seem to fuse together, while curling in towards his palms. At the same time his arms curl towards his chest and he doubles over. It's really something to see, I have yet to catch it on camera.
So as he sees Hugo (the spider, that's his name. I mean he's obviously a Hugo) moving, Eugene goes into his "spidey" pose. He starts exclaiming, "AH....I can't do it! I've walked by it for over a week and its fine when he's not moving, but I can't do it when he's moving! What am I going to do?!" All the time curling and uncurling from his spidey pose. (In all fairness, Hugo is a BIG creepy spider. They don't bother me, but watching Hugo move gives even me the heebie geebies)
I stand there, with our kid on my hip, talking him down....or up I guess, to get passed the spider. The conversation went something like this, with me talking in very reassuring, calming tones:
"Its fine, its way up in the corner. The web doesn't stretch all the way across..."
"He'll jump on me!!!"
"I'll stand right here and watch..."
"What! Watch while he jumps on me?! Yeah, that'll work!"
"No...I'll just tell you if he gets close. It's fine..."
"I can't! He's moving, I can't look at him!"
"Ok....turn your back and go down the steps. Just watch the steps as you go down and don't look behind you. You can do it! Go on three! Ready, you can do it....1...2...3!"
Eugene runs, SHRIEKS as he goes through the post, sprints down the three front steps, and goes halfway up the hill that is our front yard before he stops.
He then turns around, shakes it off and goes to the car.
Yes, what a tangled web we weave. Or rather that Hugo weaves, apparently just to terrify Eugene.